#but thinking about shannon

[likeshipsonthesea]

i know we've gotten eddie's side of things by virtue of him being a main character and shannon being a character in his story, but please for a second can we remember that before shannon's frontal lobe was finished developing she got pregnant, got married, lost her partner to the army without warning, went through a traumatizing birth, had her son diagnosed with cp, and had to deal with all of this in an in-law environment that was Less Than Ideal without a support system of her own separate from her husband

and then her mother got CANCER and was dying alone in another state and when shannon told her husband she wanted to move closer to her to take care of her he had the audacity to ask for TIME when her mother was DYING

and THEN after she made a horribly painful choice to leave her son so she could spend her mother's last months with her she finds out her husband moved to the very city she begged for them to move to bc of a job he could literally have Anywhere

shannon made some questionable choices i'm not saying she didn't but bestie no WONDER she wanted a divorce. the man she married was a stranger and the few concrete things she knew about him by s2 were not conducive to love. eddie was and is a great father but he was genuinely a horrible husband, and the fact that shannon could recognize that and choose herself is incredible to me.

edit: there is now a follow-up post about eddie

[fruitydiaz]

Eddie's selective memories vs the full picture

[vanmarkus]

9-1-1 • S4E08 || S7E09 // Sometimes people come back, but they come back wrong. // ↳ for anonymous

[glorious-spoon]

eddie moved to los angeles because shannon was there and then proceeded to not call her for months until he had an airtight excuse, eddie and buck's relationship works so well in part because he has never had to actually ask buck for anything, eddie is now moving back to texas instead of attempting to have one (1) single conversation with his son about what he wants, because no one has ever been as scared as eddie diaz of showing someone his bleeding desperate need and having them say, sorry, no.

[queerdiazs]

Shannon, Eddie, Christopher, and Buck + parallels

[stagefoureddiediaz]

The Helena diaz of it all has me fascinated. I’ve said for a long while that Eddie’s real issues are his mommy issues and this episode just cemented for me that we’re gonna explore that and deal with it.

Because it’s Helena who forced Eddie to grow up to fast - because her husband wasn’t around much - so she pushed Eddie into de facto parent and husband role ls - selfishly filling her needs and ignoring the damage it was doing to her son (it is a form of abuse in my book).

Eddie then had the audacity to fall in love with and marry Shannon and get her pregnant. It’s why Helena was always so off with Shannon - she was punishing her. She is also punishing Eddie for all of this and his refusal to return to El Paso only cemented further her bitterness and resentment.

Now she does have Ramon back she doesn’t need Eddie any longer to fill that role so she is still punishing him and part of that is tied into her glee over now getting to parent Christopher - something she has always been intent on doing the doppelgänger just gave her the opportunity- as well as allowing her to further punish her son and his love of Shannon.

Her barbed comments about building a pool were all about showing what she can provide Christopher - how she is parenting him better than Eddie - it’s part of her mind games - making Eddie feel like more of a failure as a parent to his son.

The reality of course is that the reverse is true - Helena’s parenting is all superficial, flash and showy - it isn’t the hard day to day parenting when things get tough and you have to be the bad guy. While Eddie has made mistakes, there is nothing superficial, flash, or showy about his parenting. It’s why bucks comments about Eddie being a great dad are so important.

Eddie feel like a failure right now and that he is entirely to blame for everything. But in reality, while he does bear a bit of the responsibility, the truth of the matter is that he needs to learn and deal with the fact that all of it actually stems from Helena and her abuse of her young son - Shannon never stood a chance just like Eddie never has.

[ghostlyarchaeologist]

9-1-1 S02E10 Merry Ex-Mas.

For @the-tomorrow-road

Bonus Buck and Chimney close-ups:

[skarkkk]

It was fucking rape. That's my fucking point of view.

What do you mean he liked it? What do you mean it was cheating? What do you mean I like her?

It was rape, there is no other interpretation other than rape.

Robby lived with two addicts and yet he was abandoned in a bar with free access to alcohol, and that's where it started.

He got drunk for the first time, he drank for the first time and he has no resistance to alcohol because he stays away as best he can for the simple fact that his parents were addicts who never cared about him. So he wanted to forget what was happening, to repress all of this and he turned to alcohol because where else would he go when everyone didn't give a damn about him, or his situation with Tory or his emotions? Where else was he supposed to go when his example of dealing with emotions is aggression and addiction? So he drank. He drank to a level where he couldn't formulate a response, a sentence, when Kwon came to talk to him and provoke him, and we know that if he was sober he would have done something. It was obvious on his own face listening to Kwon that he was spaced out, drunk, and then Zara approached him. And took him to her room, from where he came out the next morning. No memory of the night before, a headache, and still looking out of it, as we can see when she kissed him and he didn't even react to it. The level of alcohol this requires is the level of alcohol that prevents someone from giving consent.

— I barely remember last night

— Good thing I do

Can we see the exact connotation that something happened? That she actually took advantage of the boy who couldn't speak to give consent, who couldn't think to say no, who was too drunk for this to be acceptable? The fact that she shows no remorse whatsoever for this happening and yet kisses him again.

Besides the fact that the writers themselves are treating it like it's some kind of cheating with Tory, the characters themselves acting like he's not a vulnerable person being raped by someone who knows better?

I hate her and I hate the writers for making this like it's nothing. I don't want to be that girl, but being that girl, if the roles were reversed, would this be in the show? Would this be treated that way? Or would they actually treat it like the SA situation that it is?

From the beginning, you can see her interest in Robby - starting with that scene in the captains' photo shoot where she talks to Tory. She knows he's in a relationship. All those teasing scenes with Tory. Her taking advantage of Robby. Then the fight scene.

— You chose her over me?

Like, girl, what the fuck did you expect? He doesn't know you, he doesn't like you, you raped him and you're going after his girlfriend - the person he loves? How high is your ego to even consider that he would choose you? Axel's obsession with Sam I can understand more, although I still have my doubts. She was the first person to understand and see his situation with his sensei, she was friendly and he developed a protectiveness towards her. Although his attitude towards Miguel was wrong, he didn't rape Sam or act like a bitch towards her.

Iron Dragons and their obsession with the Miyagi-Do captains.

Zara Malik and the fact that she raped Robby Keene.

[sunflower-eddiediaz]

«C’est l’histoire d’un homme qui tombe d’un immeuble de cinquante étages. Le mec, au fur et à mesure de sa chute, il se répète sans cesse pour se rassurer : jusqu’ici tout va bien, jusqu’ici tout va bien, jusqu’ici tout va bien. Mais l'important c’est pas la chute, c’est l’atterrissage.» — Hubert Koundé, in La Haine (1995), written by Mathieu Kassovitz

[cometblaster2070]

thinking about apple white's childhood genuinely makes me sad sometimes because I think about this little girl who grew up with her mother telling her about how she's going to be snow white one day, she's going to be queen one day, and how she's going to make them all proud and like this little girl means the world to her mom and dad and she's sweet and happy and nice and everyone adores her and she can't wait to fulfil her story.

but this is also the same little girl who was born with blonde hair instead of the expected "hair black as ebony" and this little girl has grown up with people scrutinizing her every move and assessing her at all times, scanning for any forms of weakness because she's already (in their eyes) compromised the position of being the next snow white by having blonde hair and by needing glasses.

and her mother, who loves her so much, who only wants the best for her, but who is misguided and blinded by the fuckass 'destiny' system tells the little girl to keep her chin up and to keep smiling and to always, always be perfect because if you're perfect then there's nothing for others to criticize anymore.

and like this little girl fell down a well and she almost drowned when she was 6 and from that point on she was terrified of doing remotely anything that would take her away from her destiny because her destiny ensured a happily ever after and anything other than that ensured her ruin and it's so tragic that this little girl grew up so so paranoid and afraid and she began hurting so many other people around her just because of all these little things that built up while she growing up.

idk it's just that apple white had a really, really weird childhood and it's really sad to witness because at the end of the day, apple is still that little girl who's afraid to be looked down upon for having blonde hair and needing glasses, and who can't stand to be anything other than perfect, and she's still 6 years old, stuck in that well, thinking she's going to die because she didn't follow the rules.

just apple's childhood trauma ig like.

[buddiesmutslut]

I know I've said it before, but I think this upcoming episode is going to be so interesting, even if we don't get Queer Eddie OR BT Bones (neither of which I'm fully convinced are going to happen on Thursday), & it's really for this one interesting phrase that Ryan & Oliver have both used.

They have both mentioned "rose-colored glasses" when it comes to Tommy & Shannon, and I would argue that they each have to reckon with these relationships before we can have any movement towards Buddie.

Eddie thinks that Shannon was the love of his life, that he failed her and has to carry that guilt with him for the rest of his life. I believe that Eddie placing Shannon on a pedestal is partially what's stopping him from realizing his queerness (along with the catholic guilt and repression, but a lot of that is also tied up in Shannon & their failed marriage.)

Buck's convinced that his big feelings last season were all about Tommy, and I'm not saying that some of them weren't, but I don't think it'd be too far of a stretch to say that he figures that he's in this relationship now and that obviously everything is fine now. He figured out this part of himself and he's dating a man and that means everything is Fine and he absolutely does not need to do any further digging or searching or learning, despite the fact that he and Tommy don't really seem to like each other all that much, nor do they seem to be all that compatible.

Buck has to reckon with the fact that realizing his bisexuality and immediately jumping into a relationship with a man that he wasn't even sure he wanted (his speech at the coffee date) might not be the solution to all the problems he's had, and Eddie has to deal with the fact that Shannon was not perfect, that what she did was not the same as what he did, that she's responsible for her own actions and that this romanticized vision he has clung to of their lives is not real and is not consistent with the actual relationship that they had.

There's a Divorce Arc this episode - which I'm begging does something with Eddie - and an uncomfortable truth learned about Tommy's past; it's not completely out of left field to assume that the Rose-Colored Glasses come off this episode.

And the fact that it's happening for them BOTH, at the same time? In the relationships that I think are the biggest obstacles to them realizing/accepting their feelings for each other???

I'm never fully convinced they're actually going to go there with these 2, but it will be SO interesting to see how this episode plays out, regardless.

[1doesnotsimplyhavejust1fandam]

We moved on from Buck being the one to meet Kim at the station too fast. Way too fast.

Because hey, what would you do if the dead wife or a doppelgänger dead wife of your best friend-partner-almost love of your life showed up at your place of work with brownies? Would you ignore the date you scheduled in favor of driving over to your best friend’s place to knock urgently on his back door because you’re so afraid that something is happening to him. And you know that something is happening because the doppelgänger of his dead wife just showed up to the firehouse with brownies like it was just another Monday. You think you might have to push him to talk, but it feels more like your best friend was just waiting for someone to see him, and he is just as dumbfounded as you, and maybe even as scared for himself as you are for him. So you tell him that he needs to break it off with the doppelgänger of his dead wife, but you know that it’s more complicated than that, your best friend’s feelings, even though you trust him to do the right thing and end it with her. But you’re still not through the shock of seeing the doppelgänger of your best friend’s dead wife standing in the fire station, heart beating, lungs expanding, and so you think that maybe your best friend is still in shock too, and you don’t want to push too hard at his grief-wound. So you leave it for now, and you don’t come back to it until it blows up in your face, and your best friend’s face, and his son’s face too.

So yeah, I’d say that Buck probably has a lot of regrets too about the Kim situation. He’s a fixer, no matter how hard he tries, and they lost the kid both of them love more than anything over the situation. You can’t tell me that Buck hasn’t been screaming crying throwing up about it since May. Fuck that.

It doesn’t matter that we don’t get characters’ inner thoughts (usually) on this show. Buck met Kim, and he talked about it with Eddie twice. That’s crazy. That’s certifiably insane. It’s been six months. The midseason finale is tomorrow. There is no excuse for Eddie and Christopher still not speaking. This is no excuse for Buck and Eddie still never discussing Kim or at least Chris leaving. These characters are not meant to be this horrifically repressed. It is strange. It is out of character. Kim showed up for about four episodes and disappeared into the ether. I want to know what the hell is going on with this storyline.

[jackwhiteprophetic]

Sometimes I think about whether in the lawsuit era Eddie sat alone on his couch, staring at the phone, wondering if he should text, waiting for a text or something and listening for if Chris wakes up from another nightmare and is reminded a little too much of Shannon

[shadowhaert]

there it is again, that funny feeling

[bucksboobs]

.

[stagefoureddiediaz]

Something something about Eddie learning Buck will be there for him off the job, even without Chris being in the equation.

Something something about that being an important realisation for him to finally make because he’s always hidden behind his son when it comes to Buck (and his love life more generally - even Shannon in reality was for Chris not himself) but he won’t be able to this time.

Something something about that realisation being the key to giving himself permission to examine his heart and feel his true feelings.